A month of getting turned down by progressively shittier jobs is bad for your ego. You begin to embrace the fact, internalize it even. “I’m gonna live on ketchup and shitty beer,” you tell yourself while copy-pasting the same typo-filled cover letter into another email. Cut that shit out…

I know that The Office had a two part x-mas special and it was actually kind of funny–but you need to get out more often. Yeah, Oakland is scary, but so is getting old.

I had the craziest dream last night that I was Mila Kunis with a giant black swan tattoo on my back,
eating out Natalie Portman for what seemed like eternity. If only I were so lucky.